Saturday, December 30, 2006

A real man would have bought me flowers.

Christmas: Pink Creative Zen Vision: M 30GB, Sennheiser headphones, scarf, book, flashlights, candy, makeup, Pepsi polo, Pepsi hoodie, ETC

Yesterday: One of my dogs got put to sleep.

Today: On the rocks!

I don't exist, everyone's more important than me, I don't give enough, I'm cruel; what's next? I'm not waiting around to find out!

More later; I'm wiped and there's a cat with a fluffy tail outside that I simply MUST find! Prada? Hello!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Crimbo Eve

I had a dream about being at some kind of mountain resort; I was surrounded by Pepsi men and they were good and evil. One of them was "good" but would only give me information if I gave my body to him. Another was just bad. Sigh, is this how I really feel about Pepsi men?!

Merry Christmas Eve: I'm hoping for REALLY GOOD STUFF. The food will at least be fantastic. Faaaaantastic. Especially MY COOKIES.

Now, if it would simply snow.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Change of pace

I'm switching my major to Homeland Security.

New scenery, new goals, new requirements. New people.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Have to live up to my ego, I guess

So, I'm almost officially in a rut. I had a nightmare last night and it came true (not surprisingly; my dreams often come true for some reason). I suppose it's best for everyone. That's really all I can say on the subject.

I've finally been in contact with some people from the college (everyone EXCEPT my professor) and my options are basically:

o Send in a letter, asking to have my aid continued, even though I won't meet my full-time status this year.
o Take a summer course for the three credits that I need to meet my full-time status.
o Just give up.

Either way, I will apparently be able to take courses this spring, which is a relief. I think that I will most likely just take a course this summer. Probably Speech or a math course, since those are required. I'm getting in touch with my academic advisor regarding which math courses I have to take; it's been so long since I've had my enrollment testing, I have no clue. I will have enough money, what with my large Cube paychecks and what's left from my financial aid. So, I think I'll be okay as far as that goes.

I spent the rest of the day networking. I have a few things going..I'll settle out. Just as long as I'm not alone for a few days. Furthermore, my Secret Santa GREATLY ENJOYED her gifts, so I'm chuffed about that.

I have to make more cookies tonight because everyone is obsessed with them. Secret sugar cookie ingredient: nutmeg.

How much are you worth?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Slipping down and back again

We've finally mostly decorated our tree today. Out of all of our live Christmas trees we've ever had, this one is the hurtiest. It makes my fingers just hurt so badly, and then the needles fall out, like it wants me to also step on them! I don't know whether or not my tree will go up in my room. I haven't really felt up to it, honestly.



I really want to go see Eragon. It has Sienna Guillory in it, who played Jill Valentine in RE: A. MUST VIEW.

I was doing some searching about unrequited love on Wiki, which led to obsessive love. According to Wiki, here's what breeds it:

o Leisure
o Education
o Feelings of vulnerability
o Inflated opinion of oneself
o Particular childhood experiences
o Feelings of being special
o Inequality between the lover and beloved

This is all really interesting to me. It says that regression therapy is the best cure. To be honest, regression therapy is crap. Guess I'm stuck with being in love with a man who won't have me! :(

According to BBC: Aspects of obsessive compulsive disorder can also be found in those experiencing lovesickness, such as preoccupation and obsessively checking for text messages and e-mails.

Yes, I check for texts constantly! Though, not from him. :( I wish he'd text me.

I took a five-hour nap this evening, and I'm ready for more soon. I've been dead tired lately.


I'm so under pressure.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Merry Christmas, assholes

A FEW THINGS:

1.) I failed science and therefore I think I've lost my financial aid and that means I'll have to leave college for forever and probably become a maid or something. :(
2.) Geek Squad guys? Uh, Hell yes son!
3.) Chili's is stillllllllll yummu.


Maybe the Julies can teach me their previous trade.

Yeah, I failed science. I'm devastated. Like, really depressed. I begged my professor to move my grade up the two percentage points that it needed and she still wouldn't do it. This makes me extremely SAD because, like I said, I'm 99.9% sure that I'll be put on financial aid suspension. Argh. Not only that, but I'll have to add another class to my schedule somehow in order to be full-time. FUCK.

I went to Cranberry today..it worked out better than we thought. Though my mother almost punched the manager at the store we went to. That manager was a huge bitch. She was like, "It was your choice to shop here, your choice. You chose to shop here." No shit, you twat. We didn't choose to receive defective products, though, or pay $40 to have the defective products shipped to us only to have to drive to the store anyway. But there was this really awesome Geek Squad guy..holy shit, I have a new fetish. Well, I used to really be into geeky guys, and then I kind of liked the whole "jock type," but now I think I'm back into nerds. This guy was so nice, he went and got this paper that said that they had to give us a brand new product and stuff. (I'd give more details but this concerns my brother's Christmas present and he may be reading this.) Then this other guy, who was the head of his department, his name was Joe, and holy shit..even geekier than the Geek Squad guy, but so cute. And so damn nice. They were all nice except for the manager, I swear that bitch needs reamed.

We went to Kohl's and I got some of those Sakura Christmas cat plates that match my mugs. I also bought more of the mugs, but I'll prooobably return them (I thought they were different than the ones I currently have). Ummmm, then I went to Jo-Ann's and didn't get anything. Went to Chili's. Got my usual (Fajita Quesadillas--chicken--don't forget the guacamole) and it was good.

Ben had his hockey playoffs tonight. His team came in second, but they got these trophies and they're really nice. He was annoyed that he lost, but he did really well. He's pretty good. PRETTTTTTY GOOD.

Christ, I'm feeling down on myself.


But Matt and Ann would tell me to keep going. And uh..I'm sure that guy with the bra would, too.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

At least there will be plenty implied.

Overall, it was a pretty decent weekend. I got some money, socks, lipgloss, picture frames, gift cards...good stuff. I do believe that my cousins adore me!

My grandfather shafted me but I don't care; he'll drop dead any day now anyway!

I have most of my grades back now. A in English, C in Health (??), C in History. How the fuck..did I get a C in Health? And how did I get a C in History??? Arggghhh whatever. The most torturous grade isn't up yet, I'm still praying that I'll get a passing grade in Science. My grades for this semester are such shit. But I mean, English went well!

One week until Christmas Eve! Soooo excited. Tomorrow we're going to Cranberry, doing something regarding Ben's present..fun stuff? Maybe we'll get Boston Market! Woo! Tuesday I'm getting my hair done, and probably having lunch or something with my aunt. Wednesday is up in the air, Thursday is up..taking Ben to Lori's, I reckon. Friday-Sunday is CHRISTMAS STUFF! and then Monday is THE BIG DAY.

Very excited.


What makes you think I care?

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Gawd, my feet hurt. So does my back. Santa, I've been so good, doing all this baking and cleaning..surely you'll give me all that I want for Christmas!

When Ben left for school, Mother and I immediately left for the bank. Mega crowded. Giant Eagle. Slightly less crowded but still PRETTY CROWDED. I got my Secret Santa some cheez whiz and crackers. No, that's not all I got her..that's just PART OF IT. I'm a great SS, right? :)

Sam's Club. I saw an old teacher from fifth grade. He was the absolute best. Nobody really liked him, but since I was always a teacher's pet..don't think he recognized me, though, SAD. Got salad and pizza and those yummy dinner rolls I love.

Then we came home and I've just been baking and cleaning and packing ever since. Tomorrow we're leaving to go to my aunt's, then Sunday we'll be at my uncle's. Can I just say that I really dislike going to my aunt's? She and her boyfriend both smoke a lot, and they smoke inside, and it just makes me so sick. They have kids for Christ's sake. I can't stand people who smoke around babies and young children. Execute.


This is how I feel about going to my aunt's.

The worst part about being at my aunt's is their bathroom. My uncle has this remodeling business, and he's really good at what he does. He did their bathroom, and it looks great. However--their door? It has no lock. Furthermore, the door doesn't even have a doorknob that works. The doorknob doesn't move. It's just..decoration. The door swings open at a WHIM. You can't piss and relax, it has to be a hassle. The fact that I'm on my period just gives me great stress, because I know that I'll be trying to change my pad and my cousin will shove open the door, "TEEHEE BIG JOKE!" :( I don't want to go.

I have to finish watching Season 4 of Bad Girls before I leave, MUST GO. I probably won't post until I get back on Sunday, so, CHEERS, DARLINGS.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Bad day.

God, what a day. Not only did I get virtually jack all done (did get some laundry and sorts done, but who cares) but I got BURNED.

Right, my mother loves The Office. That TV show. She found out about it online somehow, downloaded all the past seasons, and is now caught up. She has been looking forward to the Christmas special (tonight) for TWO WEEKS. She sits down to watch it, and what does my brother do? Everything he possibly can to prevent it from happening! He kept telling her to turn it down, he wouldn't stop talking, he stood in front of the TV, he got my father involved (and my father..takes my brother's side no matter what. My brother could have just stabbed me and my father would take his side.) The kicker was when my cousin kept calling. She called once and my mother said to leave it. She called again and Ben said, "Answer that."
"No, I'm watching my show."
"Then I'll answer it."

So he answers it, and even though I told him THREE TIMES not to give the phone to my mom, and my mother even mouthed "NO!" over and over, he gave it to her. What the fuck? There is something wrong with him..he's just so damn abusive.

So she didn't get to watch it. And she's crying. And Ben is on some rant about wanting to go to hockey practice. Ben, you're very unpopular around here.

Then I baked some cookies and got really burnt. :( My hand hurts badly. :'( It's terrible.

I did finish downloading season four of Bad Girls. Otherwise, it's been an awful day. I just feel like shit. The fact that I'm stuck going to my aunt's on Saturday and my uncle's on Sunday just makes me feel a million times worse. Christ, I need to revamp my life. I've felt mega lonely all day which just amplifies it. ARGH. Blister on my skin. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad.

TIM

To clear up any doubts, I'm going to set things straight:

I heart the Pepsi man.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Those high heels are not your friend

Here's my day:

o Went to Scrapbook Superstation; bought 3 packs of rub-ons that were half price. They're Heidi Swapp, too, VERY NICE! Two pinks and one black. One pink and the black are the same alphabet, then one pink is this little alphabet..so cute!
o Planned on stopping at Michael's, but I had a pretty bad headache so I went home.
o Did the massive pile of laundry that was on my floor, sold some of my textbooks online ($$!), decided not to make any Christmas cards this year and just send out the ones that I bought (too overwhelming at this point).
o Ate dinner (taco salad and a Sprite from Wendy's).
o Fell asleep.

Mix some Animal Crossing in there..that's about it. Oh, and Ben won his hockey game tonight, so he's going to the playoffs! We're all pretty excited about that.

Are you aware that one week from Sunday is Christmas Eve? And I haven't sent out my Secret Santa gift, or Hell, even bought half of my gifts yet? Terrible!

Tomorrow I start baking, we get our Christmas tree, I put my fake tree up in my bedroom (really, this time I'm serious, honestly here) and I just generally collapse. This is the stretch, guys. THE HOLIDAY STRETCH.

Tired, though. Really tired. Gonk. Of course you're better than my last boyfriend.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Attention, comradesky: SUCCESS!

I did my finals. They were OKAY, I think. My science professor was proctoring. Eee. I really hope everything's fine with that course. I am praying and begging.

Now that I don't have to study anymore (hell yes, son), I can spend my days: playing Animal Crossing, eating pumpkin ice cream, and CLEANING. Typical female figure, right? So why haven't any men claimed me? :(

Actually, tomorrow will probably consist of me making the few Christmas cards that I'm going to be making, clearing out the spot for the Christmas tree in the living room, clearing out the spot for the Christmas tree in my bedroom, buying some Christmas presents, and maybe getting my scrapbook totes out of the dining room. (Laffo, like that'll ever happen.)

Did I mention that I did my finals?! :) x 92348204802!

I need a hero

Actually, I probably just need a couple of Klonopin. My nerves are shot today.

I have to go in to take some tests..whether or not I pass science lays solely on this final. How can, like, three hours cause me so much panic? Seriously, these are only going to take me about three hours, yet I've been thinking about them nonstop for weeks now. Not only that, but I had literally two hours of sleep last night, couldn't eat lunch, and feel like I'm going to puke up breakfast. And the thing is, hopefully, in twelve hours these will be over and I'll be sleeping in peace. Well, I might not be. I have to admit, there are other problems besides the exams that are upsetting me..but right now it's what I have to focus on.

Things I have to look forward to in order to get myself through these next sevenish hours:

o Christmas baking this week
o Sending out Christmas cards on Friday
o No more school until January 11
o Selling my textbooks and using the money to buy stuff (hello, loan funds are used for books!)

Dear Almighty Republican Speaker in that GOP Paradise in the Sky:
Please let me get at least a B on each of my finals. Please. I am willing to get a C on one of them if I can just get a B in science. I need to pass that course or I will lose everything. I promise to be good for the rest of the year. Also; please make me stop feeling so nervous. I can't stand up without feeling super dizzy. Ta v much.

Blerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Going to pretend I'm Tanya Turner. What would Tanya Turner do? She'd probably hire someone to take the exams for her. :/ Okay, I'll use Tanya's attitude, at least. I'm fabulous, darling, and my husband Jason will love me no matter what I do. Sigh.


They love me, they really love me.

Accusations

What would Tanya Turner do?

She wouldn't take a night of it.



So you want me to be afraid to talk to you, huh?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

International Kelline

Finals tomorrow = end of my first college semester
Biggest research paper of my life due tomorrow with me having virtually nothing done on it = me failing my first college semester

I'm baking all week. We're not having our usual Cookie Baking Weekend with my aunt's family; instead, I'm baking a ton of cookies and we're giving some to them. Happy holidays.

Snow no longer exists this year. Weather is going to be 50s, rain, all through my birthday. My birthday is in August--

I'm listening to Matt Drudge now and he's playing my requests, baby.

Tomorrow, the snow sticks to the ground on AC:WW; I'm chuffed. I can't wait for Bad Girls Season 4 to download. I can't wait until my finals are over so I can live again. I can't wait until this research paper aces itself and I win the Drudgitzer (the Matt Drudge version of the Pulitzer).

I'm so tired and so swamped and I need a cruise to Poland.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

Second encounter

I should have realized that I couldn't avoid him forever. I thought that maybe he'd forget about me; that I was just another little thing on the side to keep him from having to stay in and watch TV on a Friday night. I was so wrong.

I had been avoiding the place where I first met him. Figuring that it was safe, I started including it in my list of daily haunts again. Big mistake.

It was the second night of me being back. I was talking to a peer and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I knew it was him before I turned around. I could smell his aftershave.

"Hello. I thought I would find you here." He smiled at me and gave me a once-over. I was starting to get that feeling in my stomach again.

"Hey. I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been really busy with stuff." I was lying through my teeth. He could tell, but he was gracious enough not to let on.

"Can we talk? There's a place next door that has some great mozzarella sticks." I smirked at his blue-collar tendencies. I couldn't help but find it endearing. Was he doing it on purpose?

The place next door was all that was promised. It did have some good appetizers, and he shocked me by getting a Coke instead of a beer.

We talked about college, Christmas (he's hoping for a GPS system), and Matt Drudge. He is a fan, though he hardly listens. He wants to borrow my copy of Drudge Manifesto when I'm done with it.

Then he started pressing subjects from before.

"When are you going to be my intern?" I couldn't answer. I knew what he was really asking.

"I'm kind of..promised to someone."
"Who?"
"He's not from around here."
"If he's not here with you, then he's not worth a damn minute of your time. Why would you waste your time with a guy who doesn't want to be around you?"

He reached across the table, in the dimly lit room, and touched the side of my face.

"I'm divorcing my wife. I want you to be my intern."

I signed the paper. He dropped me off at the college. He kissed me. I have to find out if he's really getting divorced or not. You never know with people of his occupation. They're so sleazy. So..sleazy.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

It's enoug [sic] to drive you crazy if you let it

Lack of updates--sorry for, also sorry to make this short, I have been running myself crazy here. Hint: he's out to get me.

A few points. Rick gave his farewell speech. That makes me BEYOND SAD. He also said that Bob Casey is a good guy..Rick, don't!




He looks SO YOUNG.


I forget who that other guy is; ignore, LOOK AT RICK.

We're having a blizzard here in Butler, with 8 inches expecting overnight! Okay, it's nothing to what we usually get..but last year we got hardly anything, so this is pretty spectacular.

Right, season 3 of Bad Girls also downloaded, so I'll be away for a long time. Actually, I'll probably stay up all night watching. Shell Dockley killed Jim Fenner--or DID SHE? And it's over between Helen and Nikki. Can't stop watching!

Forget the Christmas songs, they're off indefinitely. Just go download some S Club 7 and A*Teens Christmas tunes, or some Jim Brickman, and you'll be FINE. Oh god, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO JIM FENNER? What will happen to me?

Monday, December 4, 2006

Monday, Monday

This has been an easy Monday. I studied, I wrapped presents, I made homemade gift tags. I cleaned. I read more of Inkspell. I installed Firefox because Internet Explorer has been crapping out. I bought stuff for my Secret Santa. I showered and painted my nails. I'm ready to do it all again tomorrow.

Except it won't happen tomorrow. Plans have changed! Tomorrow I'm going with my mother to take my uncle out to eat. We're getting Chinese in New Castle. WHY NEW CASTLE? Butler has the best Chinese food IN THE WORLD. Don't pause to think about what I just said.

My mother seriously freaked me out tonight. Every winter, she gets this terrible cough. She saw a doctor about it last year and he didn't do anything, so now she won't go see anyone. She was talking to her brother on the phone, and all I heard her say was something like, "Our air ducts do need cleaned..they haven't been cleaned in god knows how long. Can you imagine how much stuff is in them? That probably is why I cough like this." Hello, freaking out! I have this big fear of mold and all this stuff, and I've told her ages ago to get the vents cleaned out..but does she listen? No! And our basement is all moldy..oh god! I seriously need to move out before I have a nervous breakdown from mold taking over my brain. :(

My friend Emily told me something amusing today regarding 75-100 snails..I'm still laughing. She's a good friend.

Pet Shop Boys: It Doesn't Often Snow At Christmas
Elton John: Step Into Christmas

Elton John = yuck, but this song is a classic for my holiday season. Pet Shop Boys are love.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Matt Drudge x 383839929

I'm listening to the Matt Drudge show at the moment. Can I please just say that I'm falling madly in love with him? I love the little remix songs he makes, and I love the little skits he makes, and I LOVE how he dissed Jon Stewart. My mother is a big Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert fan, and to hear Drudge talk about these two men..it's just like a religious experience. MATT, YOU'VE BROUGHT HAPPINESS TO MY NIGHT.

We got a little bit of snow this evening. Pleasing..I'm hoping for something that accumulates, though. It's supposed to snow overnight (I'm staying hopeful, don't laugh at me) so maybe I'll get lucky!

I'm finally going through some of the stacks of books in my bedroom. I'm reading Inkspell now, which is the sequel to Inkheart. Brilliant books, both of them. After that, I can move on to Ellis Island Interviews, All Politics Is Local, A Hitler Youth In Poland, Cell, and many more! I think I will be occupied this vacation. Speaking of which; finals, officially one week, NERVOUS YET EXCITED.

I'm going to start juggling domestics with school again, and figure on making this KITCHEN WEEK. Maybe also HALLWAY WEEK. My nails are getting really long though, so I need to be careful.

This week is going to be one thing after the other. Busssssssyyyyyyyyy.

PS-I'll post two Xmas tracks tomorrow; remind me to make one of them the Pet Shop Boys one. My Internet is like so slow tonight. Cheers.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Advent Calendar Day Two

Trans-Siberian Orchestra: Wizards In Winter

It has a really gay title, but it's prettttty hep. I like TSO for Christmas. Well, except for the songs where they sing. Bleh. The guy has this..voice. It's bad. Not good.

I froze my tits off today, but still no snow! I'm getting really antsy, as it was supposed to snow last night; now they're saying not until TOMORROW night. It's a travesty is what it is. I'm hoping that I wake up tomorrow to the traditional 5 feet of snow, as required by Butler, PA laws.

This week is going to be megggga busy. I have to study for finals, then I have like the biggest research paper of my life due. We're taking my uncle out somewhere for his birthday on Wednesday (but it's a SURPRISE so don't tell). Then next weekend we're going to that light show in Pittsburgh, which is basically the official start of the festivities for my family.

I haven't been talking politics at all, which is appalling..oh, there was one thing I wanted to show y'ens..



I want this mask. It's a Jack Abramoff mask that some Dems were wearing to protest his corruption..WHATEVER. I want one for my own personal use. I NEED ONE. Argh. They probably burned them all, crazy libtards.

Oh Jack.

Friday, December 1, 2006

Happy December!

Quick note: new Emma Bunton CD has been leaked; uh, hell yes son! It's A++++++++.




Right. December 1st, and I'm chuffed at the prospect of snow. It's been raining way too much, and after being nearly blown away, a nice blanket of snow is what I need to wrap myself up in. Seriously. Being from the Pittsburgh area, I can wrap myself in snow and be completely warm! It's great.

I had to finish off my Landfill Decomposition project for Environmental Science today..GAG. It was all moldy and smelled terrible. It had decomposed crackers and all sorts in it. I better do really well in this class.

In other news: I finally got my paycheck today! But it was made out to Kelly McIntyre (??). I'd say that they have it in for me, but the managing editor is too nice for that. Sigh. I have to return the check and get a new one. Here's to hoping there's a billion dollar bonus.

Right, today's the day I start uploading Christmas songs. To start the month off right, we'll have to get into the Girls Aloud Christmas music. Included as a bonus disc to their Chemistry album, it had seven catchy little Christmas tunes.

Girls Aloud - Merry Xmas Everybody
File Factory link. Go on, do it. For me.

I'll be more thorough tomorrow. I have to go back out into the wind to test the pH of the rain for yet another science project. WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS COURSE.