Sunday, November 12, 2006

K 4 TT

I watch a show called Footballers' Wive$. It's a British soap opera--actually, off the air now. They left us with a huge cliffhanger at the end of season five and it just KILLS ME, but I digress.

The show is about a group of footballers (soccer players, for you Americans) and their wives. Mostly about the wives, obviously. Naturally, there is sex, scandal, and some pretty hot music.

Throughout the series, there is one wife who remains. She leaves for a few episodes during season four, but returns for the later episodes of season five. She is the most conniving, manipulative, devious woman in the world. I am going to be just like her one day, mark my words.

I have a tiny girl-crush on her. Her name? Tanya Turner.



Tell me she's not brilliant.

Reasons why I love Tanya Turner:

o She doesn't want a baby because it'll get sick all down her Dolce.
o She has ridiculously long nails.
o She greets her best friend (Chardonnay Lane-Pascoe) with a hug and a kiss.
o Everyone near to her is referred to as "darling."
o She got away with near-murder.
o She always gets her way. Always.
o When she left during season four, and Conrad said, "See you in Hell," Tanya smirked and said, "You wish."
o She only wears high heels, and she apparently hasn't broken her neck yet.
o When she lied in court about Frank Laslett trying to rape her, she showed remorse afterwards, talking about how she lied in front of "the Almighty" and she's "supposed to be a Catholic for Christ's sakes."
o When Jackie Pascoe had Jason Turner (Tanya's husband)'s baby, Tanya confronted Jackie and said that if she went around Jason again, it would take "more than Botox to sort her face out."
o When Tanya does cocaine, she scoops it up with her fingernails. She also refers to it as "Colombian Marching Powder."
o When Tanya goes shopping with a friend, she links arms with her.
o She has a really awesome collection of sunglasses and stilettos.

I love Tanya Turner. ♥

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