My beloved Jack is locked up!

Jack Abramoff went to prison today. He is going to be there for seventy months. Why? Because he's a damn good Republican in a country that's full of Democrats, that's why! He did nothing wrong, damnit! This isn't a free country if you can't exploit some minorities for your own profit!


Oh god, he's wearing a baseball cap. That's hot.

He's in Maryland. That's the state below mine! If I go down to Maryland, I can pay off the guards and have some "alone time" with him. Wink. Since he'll be there for seventy months, he'll be so desperate, he won't say no!


What was that?

Yep..I'll just wire him and he'll charter a plane for me. I can be his mistress! Ooh la la. I really hope they don't work him hard. They say that he'll be working in food service. Whatever..if he's not corrupting, he's not really working, is he? :( Poor baby!


Just set the date, baby.

Perhaps I will follow in his footsteps and be a corrupt lobbyist. I don't know, though..I have big shoes to fill! I mean, he had a private jet for God's sakes! I don't even know how to drive. Sigh! Jack, teach me your ways! I'm begging you!


Jack, you are the epitome of a perfect male. Corrupt, Republican, a little bit overweight, and you have that baseball cap!

Tonight will be his first night in prison. Oh god, please don't let him get raped by Hillary Rodham Clinton. Please. She'll just walk in and anally rape him. I can't handle this. I have to break him out.